OSLO, Christmas 2015 – Damn, there are the wildest week ever, says Kristopher Schau (45). Mostly to himself, so the words come, before he bends with huge paws over a faithful small, red almanac. Looking up at the first week of January 2016, the wildest.
Outside the Christmas still and cold. Schau, the man with the long, black-clad legs, which looks shit scary when he wants, but mostly has the world’s friendliest smile. The man who says he will only make the band The Dogs and radio, the TV is to make money. Which has given the world Gartnerlosjen and Cumshots. Have Karate and Upswing B on his conscience, which showed most of themselves in Seven Deadly Sins and People Fight. It gjennomsnakka Fuck for Forest-stunt at Quart.
He reads up own-listed plans: Monday is The Dogs album out, and he will deliver things to Espen Thoresen’s radio program. «First working in P13, where thus,” he says, before looking up under the eyebrow:
– It is not so interesting for you that my dad’s birthday on Tuesday, perhaps.
We do not reply before he looks down again and continue with the plan for the week’s third day; Season’s first broadcast of “Cattle Fur” on Radio Nova.
As he continues to cycle comes half sentences about what he would otherwise have to get done, which has an equally specific date. “The Dogs are touring too, we begin the 14th, so we need to tap into a rehearsal or something too.” “Oh, yes, I have to make printed talks with Ingvar Ambjørnsen and sent the publisher, he is 60 … There are book by it, I have not told it? …. “It slurps black coffee. “And yes fan, so I got a whim the other day, about a interview thing to wear at Post Office on Toyen, I rented it on the last Sunday of the month. Where I’ll talk for an hour about things I want to learn more about. The tram, bananas, paper … on the sparrow … “says Schau and fishes forward cell phone, only to discover that he has erased the number of the sparrow-expert. “No, I have to delete him, fan, no, now I can not see a damn thing.”
And on Saturday, the first TV broadcast of the year. “Crisis Meeting” podcast with Kyrre Holm Johannesen, shown on TV 2 Humor. And so we also come forward to present – that Saturday is today, you see “Crisis meeting” on the screen tonight.
– This is untypical for me, I do not like having so damn messy stuff. But I try to get it to go up now that, so it should not be so damn mas. This should go. I have a plan, so it should go. 2016 be done, I see, he says and looks satisfied.
– It is digg that 2016 has been a year when I only do things I like. I’m looking forward more to go have words with the 2016 than I did with 2015.
Mediehuset Manager
In combat
Schaus life started naturally not with broken bottles in the head during a concert, roasting his own foreskin or radio chatting and extenders boy pranks. Although it is easy to believe that Schau was one of the derre kids who on death and life would prove forward and made the most of attention.
– Hehe, no, has never been any plan about anything really. I drifted never with any children’s or such things. I put most inside and reading comics, until I was 14, he says, and mentions “Superboy” and “Giant” as the most important series for teenage version Kristopher.
– So I started hearing more active in music, and so it was just there. I was inside until I started high school, I think, he says, and rejects other hobbies of more physical nature.
– I was so damn allergic, so I could somehow not. Playing football was not so helpful. If I tumbled, I had of course anyway, because I was so red in the island and went and Noy. So I’ve never been much love to engage in sports, there has been a bit pointless for me, I know.
But you coach now, you go in Thai boxing?
– Yes, but it’s a bit like that necessity also, body is so long and destroyed. I must try to keep it somewhat alive. I’ve been kicked in bakhuet a few times and learned that it goes well there too. And it’s very good for your back. There is so much hip twists that have helped lots of my back pains. So it has been relevant training.
– And then there is a good outlet to calm boiling in the head. It works out really well.
CUM: With Kristopher in good drive.
Are you good?
– Neineinei, erru crazy? I’m pretty bad. What my strengths are … It’s easier to say my bad sides. I’m slow, very slow. And I have bad conditions, and has little flexibility. And it’s the things you need in martial arts, grins he said.
But you have long arms, it might just come in handy.
– Yes, but I do not care about beating people in the face, I saw I have a tendency to say I’m sorry. But, pull your hands down to say it, so you get a mid-face course. And whenever I get hit a little hard, so I start to laugh. And it is very bad, because then they mostly annoyed, those who do, then they do it again. And then I laugh even more. And then I think that “Fy fan, this I pay money for.” I can tolerate an awful lot of beating, there is also a disadvantage really.
Withstand a lot? It sounds like it’s an advantage to have you in a fight so seen?
– Having me in a fight had been a great advantage. Had I been properly pissed, so there’s no stopping me. In addition to that I can tolerate a lot of beating, but I am badly in controlled ways, I’m too nice, he says, adding that he is a much nicer guy when he has wet the training.
ZZZZZ: The strange silence descends.
Adrian Haugan Møller
– I get a lot of information” can not be so kind and go and train, you’re so much nicer then. “
What does your coach then?
– It’s the same all the time. Take advantage of being so long
Why are you so long?
– I do not know! It is a genetic mistake! My grandmother in England were 149 high, so it does not go up what so ever, you know. It’s no more than 190 outside of me. It’s just me.
The height came in his teens. In the sixth grade, he was only the third highest in the class. Then came centimeters furious over eighteen months.
– I was at times at home from school because I grew so fast that my legs failed properly consider will out, he said, taking to one knee.
– So I have stretch marks, such as pregnant women get, here.
The boy was sent to study at Ullevål hospital. It was taken X-rays, bone marrow was checked, hormone therapy were considered:
– To stop this madness! But it turned out that it should provide by themselves. I hoped intensely it should continue. I was very intrigued by the Guinness Book of Records. The world’s longest man had then a femur at 76 centimeters, so I measured my own thighs to see if there was hope. There was nothing of, and that’s my back very happy now.
With Egil
If you have moved around in Grünerløkka outside normal rush hour, you’ve possibly seen the tall man trudge the streets. He loves to go. And he is even declared obsessed our capital.
– I’ve always lived in Oslo. Apart from when I was little, when we moved where my dad got a job. But I was born in Oslo. So he worked a little in Trondheim, it was Molde, Skien, Bergen and then back here. I went to primary school in Bergen, from first to third. I started talking a little bergensk, I did. I talked a bit like that when I came back here.
– But it rid ourselves quickly, he says with what could be a mischievous twinkle in his island.
Growing happened on small Langerud. He explains it as digg, for between Abildsø and Langerud there is no subway. It gets pretty ass environment around subway stops, it is “hangout for no goods.”
– So I dropped everything so, I grew up in a small safe haven. And it was there I met Egil, on Ullsrud, the nearest high school.
Egil Hegerberg words. Norwegian music’s funniest and most inventive.
– It had a lot to say for me. We sat next to each other. It was quite liberating.
HOME APPLIANCES: A package less. In format.
Liberating, for teachers …?
– They cared so little, we got to hold on as we wanted. We did what we were going to, that is. We were not rowdy students but rather frivolous. But I think the sin the teachers who had to have Egil as a student! There’s something about having a student who is smarter than you, which of course must be hurt. That’s better than you in English, better than you in gym -he was completely raw, says Kristopher .
– I can not underestimate, it was a completely bizarre world with him. We tura in with what we wanted for three years, he says, and tells about poetry collections they gave out together, as they set to music with the instruments they found.
– It was pretty bad, but it was done with a dedication. Then we started to perform at graduations, something like that little performance-like Geier.
Were you popular?
– Neeeei … But it was done with a kind of confidence, so we could not be taken for it, in a way. People loved it, but they could not help but relate to it. ‘Yes … There they are again. ” People watched carefully. They were perhaps a little scared too.
– Yes, it is possible I remember a couple of those things where a little mistake, that is. Egil remember so better than me, but in my head is the way it happened, he begins before he interrupts himself.
– Fan, we shall also this year! We will play with Hurra Torpedo again. That means we also have a ride on the dump and find music equipment.
HOORAY! It’s Egil. And Kristopher.
So you for you as young that you should look for appliances adult age, to get done what you were going?
– No, but when Hurra Torpedo started it was so damn shabby in Old Town, it stood appliances everywhere on the streets there up. We thought it was the perfect band to play in. We did not even bother to obtain appliances until the day we were playing live, we knew we could take a mini-van to Schweigaardsgate and retrieve instruments on street corners. But now it has become regulated, now one must have some good contacts. Retrieves one of recovery, then you have to also supply back on recovery. It’s been a little smaller parcels, since it is turned to smithereens, but back it should.
On radio
It was in a sense Gartnerlosjen receiving Schau into the world of familiar faces, but it will be to anticipate events slightly. For radio career started as a coincidence when Schau was called into military service. Although he had no plans to speak on the airwaves.
– I should have civil service because I had to be in Oslo. We had exercises with Gartnerlosjen Tuesdays, so I could not be sent to Incorporation or Finnmark or where it was. Then I ran into passivity package, he said and mulling over that it was granted.
– Do not think I got away with it and because I did an interview with conscientious objector magazine, where I stood forward as convenience-denying, with feet on the table. Refused to be allowed to practice! Hahaha, it was fun! But it went there.
On the wall at the meeting point for civil hung notes on the wall with vacant jobs. When Schau came forward were two patches again. One was herding sheep on the west coast somewhere, and the other was an information officer in the Association of the Blind. He took the last “so clear!” It was the NB-radio, they needed someone to read the news, and where he was for two years. There also ether each “Cattle Fur” was born.
And in 1993 started P3 up.
– They needed summer temps and Espen Thoresen had at some point interviewed Gartnerlosjen. He had absorbed that we swung on the “Cattle Fur” and he inclined me a summer job. And I accepted. It was so damn fun to work with better equipment and with Thoresen, which I thought was so into hell clever. It seems I still he is. But I figured at least that here I must try to get to a workplace. So I made so many elements as possible, 4-5 a day, so they would feel they were dependent on me before the summer was over. It went then, I was allowed to continue. Then came “Karate” and all that stuff. It was a bit haphazard.
Schau explains why radio is so good: Radio goes fast. Man enters and when you go out again has created something. Prater one away, one must continue to talk.
BROSJAN: Kristopher and Aleksander.
Radio Nova
After 25 years on the radio (“Cattle Fur” has anniversary this fall, congratulations!), should Schau have been quite so pro.
No, he claims. Says he has become lazier. He makes no hints anymore. Do not understand the new ways to edit on. It is “damn fun tinkering and arrange “, but it bothered him not anymore, so now it’s just live radio.
– And I do lot uglier now than before. I heard old recordings from the mid-90s. I spoke “much cleaner, like this, very nicely, the time,” he says excessively articulated and with long vowels.
– Heard admission of people from the 50s so it sounds krøkkete and strange, I had a hint of it. But I get apparently not with me I’m on the radio anymore, closest he sighs over the development.
That old stuff will punish him, he is not afraid. Then you have some possibly bothering to digitize old recordings and it’s not going to happen thinks Schau.
– It’s damn lucky. Although the first P3-tinga is gone, which is good, for they were certainly quite horrendous. Luck there. Same with Gartnerlosjen. There are sure some pretty gruesome live performances I had been embarrassed now, but it requires that someone with a VHS camera now bothered finding it forward and digitize and publish. I dodged.
In bed
It is not the only thing he has become looser on. Possibly gotten a more relaxed relationship.
Little brother Aleksander, he only dugandes (beside Trevor) in Premier League studio of TV 2, has stated that it was Kristopher who was the one who had to win when they were children. In Monopoly and such. Kristopher himself says he preferred to win, but he loved even more to enjoy themselves with running mind games at the rear.
– It is not so damn important that either now, then. But I like very bad to lose in chess many times in a row. Then it is established that I am stupid, somehow, he says, but pulls with a pleased grin forward The Dogs’ superiority.
– We have much band-quiz when we are out playing. We ask the organizers to make it. When we challenge other bands tilted to quiz duel. And when I feel the competitive instinct is pretty hard. Then we must win. And we have also done, The Dogs are undefeated.
Where the music obviously still alive and well, have comics been shelved. Books have taken place, albeit not quite in the same tidsrøvende scale as in childhood.
– Right now it’s a book about the donkey, which I read on the bed. It’s called “Donkey”, of one or anna Swedish lady (Jutta Person, for those interested, ed.’s Note.). It’s so damn funny. But it is tired ass, for it is a bit boring too, hehe. And then I fall asleep a little. Then I got “The charm of the gut” for Christmas, it’s going to go down vertically I know. It is quite nice the words. And then I came across a book of stories by Edward Bunker, it’s really the one I’m most looking forward to. It’s the one I’ll read that next book.
But to write books himself, he is finished.
Funeral book “On behalf of friends,” July 22 trial form orge magazine and the TV series “Dag”. There are the three things he mentions that own writings, before words Ambjørnsen-book due in the spring.
– I think it’s pretty ass to write. Dialog is fun, but the other stuff I do not like. I can not take a whole novel, long things I write badly. Font is a totally ass format, there is no accent in it. Or, I can not do it, it to put emotions into words.
– In recent years there has only been “Dag” and låttekster. Then it short sentences, up sentences. And my head – I can not concentrate on all stories. No, I have no story I want to write. Ambjørnsen-book is delivered now. I hope it’s the last thing I write, he said.
THE DOGS: Consists of Kristopher Schau, Mads Martinsen, Roar Nilsen, Henrik Gustavsen, Christian Spro and Kenneth Simonsen.
Record
But it depends. For it is 14 drama series written by Schau and Co. out by producers and television companies, pitched as it is called. Texts and ideas intended for display.
No one wanted them so far.
– In “Dag” we did not more scripted, it is so expensive to pull off a TV series. So when you write sales breakthrough ideas, and it is deaf! Sales pitcher is like writing prospectuses to property.
Album Aktuell with The Dogs. In our he is on the TV screen in “Crisis Meeting” with Kyrre Holm Johannesen. By radio there Cattle Fur on 25.året and Schau have in our regular column in P13 program “Thoresen Hveraagod.”
The son of actor Find Schau and Jill, maiden name Martin and brother of Alexander Schau.
Married Malin Nilsson in 2013.
For more detailed information about what Schau has been up, please consult the Wikipedia page about him here. It is written there, Schau this to say:
– There are certainly some errors, there are a lot of lie you know! There was one who said he had read there that I had a radio show called “I Hate Poles”. It’s pure lies, he says scroller downward website.
– Torpedo Juchheirassa !? I know when fan, you may. “Norwegian Fart Compilation” is the only one fart single, so it’s not a band. The other votes. Sure, it does not completely gæernt out. But fan, The Dogs have not got their own Wikipdia page yet! … See here then, there are the ten targets in the past six years. But there is much I have forgotten, that …
He is 200 centimeters tall.
But a couple of ideas are Schau damn happy. The 14 include a historical drama and a little violence / action case from Grünerløkka.
– And you, it is a romantic series there too! It thought we would simply walk in, it’s the only TV guys want, “erre no ‘rommmmmantikk here,” they ask. But they have not said yes to it either.
Schau is still homey. He has always thrived in his own apartment, he said. So even though he liked writing routines meant – up in the morning, touching the keyboard, print out and lie on the couch and run rigorous self-criticism – so meant writing economically barren years.
– I thought it was going to get some money out of the TV skrivinga. “Dag” was nice it, but it came the so little out of it otherwise. So there was nothing to live on. It was cramped words! But it was possible, they came through the too.
Just as well he let alcohol on the shelf. A few years ago there was great change in this respect, without the protagonist even like very embellish.
– I have not drunk the giant long. A place so it’s just enough, he explains.
What effect did it to stop drinking?
– One becomes much flatter emotionally of quitting . Job-wise, there has not been any big difference. But it is cheaper then, you get better advice. There is no doubt about that. There have been lean years financially for the last three, so it is an advantage to not wearing any money on alcohol.
Mediehuset Manager
In the wind
But it was in 2016 when, as laws as well, albeit with a slightly wild start. After what may seem like a few years with little less villstyring on TV and in the media column inches, is Schau topical in most channels again.
With age getting many 5-year plans and such. Thinking ahead. Do you like that?
– I’ve never been able to have it. I have never had a permanent job, I’ve always been freelance. Have not I been offered permanent rather then, so it’s okay so far, hehe.
– But I have no plans of autumn by then. I know what I hope , we are in the studio again. But it’s a bit like that squirrel-thinking; I pickle the money I can now. But there’s no 5-year plans. I would have liked it, but I have no big grandiose ideas, everything is pretty small.
Have you been less “visible” in recent years, by the way?
– It’s a bit random. It’s probably mostly because I have quarreled with old employers. But I have no need to think, I want to make things I like. So it happens that the best forum for it’s television, as “The seven deadly sins,” it had to be televised. And “People who fight” – it may seem, somehow, he gesticulates.
– So it was part writing for a while. But I’ve been out and played all the time, 50 concerts a year for the past 15 years. There I have been visible. And now I feel that I am very visible now in 2016.
Mediehuset Manager
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